I love you to death, and you'll always be one of my best friends. And really, I dont know what my life would be like without you. But at the same time, I always feel like Im being judged or criticized when Im with you. And it just makes hanging out with you exausting. I wish that I could be myself more around you, but I just cant. I dont know why. Its not your fault at all, its mine. And im sorry for that. Because I have been subconsciously pushing you away, and you dont deserve it. Its just that I sometimes feel like our friendship can be a tad bit toxic, and I wish it werent so. I know it shouldnt be like this, and a christian friend should always love one another. (I do love you, i really do, its just hard for me to show it sometimes?) I feel like I shouldnt post this. I might not. but i feel like I have to say it to you... sort of an explanation for last bible study. And please dont feel bad when you read this, because its my lack of self-confidence, not you, thats causing this.
love, jenn
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